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T.R.W. Speaks

A place for anyone looking to gain insight on how they can better there lives and overcome the many obstacles we face in life.

Cultivating a Attitude of Gratitude

How can positive thoughts Help you?
What is the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning?
Maybe you’re like most people and you just want to go back to bed.  How do you think you would feel if instead of thinking about how much you are dreading  the start of the day, you instead started your day off with thoughts of the things in your life that you have to be grateful for?  Like the fact that you are alive and that you get to spend another day on this beautiful planet that we live on?  That’s an easy one.  We wake up every single day with literally hundreds of things to be grateful for.  Things like the ability to see, to taste, to touch, to smell, to hear, to walk, water, food, shelter, I could go on and on.  The first thought that comes into your head when you wake up can have a dramatic impact on how the rest of your day is going to go.  In a study done by the Mayo clinic they found that positive thinking can have the following benefits:
  • Increased life span
  • Lower rates of depression
  • Lower levels of distress
  • Greater resistance to diseases such as the common cold
  • Better physiological and physical well-being
  • Reduced risk of death due to cardiovascular disease
  • Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress
 When you become grateful and aware of all the blessing that you have in your life, you realize that there is far too much in this world to be thankful for to waste a minute focused on the negatives in life.  When I was a kid growing up in San Diego I remember several times when we did not have water to take showers, electricity for the lights and fridge, and many times that we had to go to bed hungry.  These are not situations that I look back on in sadness.  It’s the complete opposite actually.  I am instead
 eternally thankful for those experiences because they gave me a much greater appreciation for the blessings I currently have in my life.  Taking a moment each day to assess the reality of our lives can change your outlook in a very positive way.  In the words of Gandhi “your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.”  If you wish to achieve greatness and live a happy and  productive life, start first with the thoughts you allow to fill your mind.  By cultivating an attitude of gratitude you will find that your life is filled with countless blessings and that your days can be as bright as you wish them to be.
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Above all things, integrity

 

Throughout our lives we are taught the differences between right and wrong.  This is done either by teachers or through life experiences.  Whatever the case may be for you, it is vital to both your happiness and success that you identify the morals and principles most important to you, so that you can live your life with integrity.  Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.  It is also the state of being whole and undivided.  When you sacrifice your morals and values, you lose a piece of yourself and will find it difficult to wholeheartedly love or appreciate anything.  What is it that you are communicating to yourself when you make a decision that you know in your heart is wrong?  You are admitting to yourself that you lack self-control and that you are unable to make you own decision.  This can lead to addictive behaviors, unhealthy lifestyles, and the inability to accomplishing your goals.  When is the last time you did a self evaluation?  You can do this by asking yourself a few questions such as:

Do I procrastinate? If so how often?

Do I put people down, or lift them up?

Am I taking steps each day that are moving me closer to my goals?

Do I treat my body with respect with diet & exercise?

The answer to these questions and several others that you can think of will tell you a lot about yourself.  Did you answer honestly?  Did you attempt to make excuses for yourself?  Have you begun the downward path of lying to yourself?  Don’t get to down on yourself.  We have all done it at one point in time or another, myself included.  The important thing is to make the decision to acknowledge the negative aspects of your present lifestyle and begin the process of eliminating those behaviors.  Set clear attainable goals for yourself and hold yourself accountable for accomplishing them.   Jayce O’neal once said “Great men and great woman are not extraordinary people who do extraordinary things.  they are ordinary people who do ordinary things with integrity”.  Hold yourself to the highest of standards and do what you know in your heart to be right and you will have love, happiness, and above all things, integrity.

HOW TO SECURE YOUR SECURITY Six steps you can use to eliminate insecurity from your life.

Life is not easy.  In order for a person to maintain their confidence and the ability to walk this world guilt free, it is important that they live their life doing what they know in their heart needs to be done.  In this article I have listed six things that you can do to boost your confidence and get your life going in a much more positive direction.
  1. Surround yourself with positive people:
    It is very important that you surround yourself with people who are motivating, optimistic, and pushing you to better yourself.  These are not people that are just going to tell you what you want to hear and feed you compliments, these are the people that are going to get on your case if you stop pursuing your goals,  push you to your limits in the gym, recommend good books to read, be that shoulder to lean on, and never make you feel inadequate for being who you are.  Surround yourself with these kinds of people and you will find yourself much happier and inspired.
2.  Begin a workout routine:
      There are so many exercise routines out there today.   A great resource I have found for finding good workouts is bodybuilding.com.  It is filled with  workout routines, forums, supplements, and everything else you would need to build the perfect workout routine, whether you are a male or female.  Exercising is not just about looking good.  It is about feeling good, being healthy, and pushing yourself to be the best you can be.  The following additional benefits of exercising were found in a study done by the Mayo Clinic: combats health conditions and diseases, improves your mood, naturally boost your energy, get better sleep, enhances your sex life, and it is overall fun.
3.  Find a diet and stick to it:
     Dieting is the bread and fat free butter of any healthy lifestyle.  We’ve all heard of the Atkins Diet, the South Beach diet, the Raw Food Diet, and of course the Taco Tuesday Diet.  Each of them has something great to offer.  A couple of places that can help you find the right diet are Shape.com and Sparkpeople.com.  Remember, greatness is achieved through consistent positive actions to achieve a goal.  So once you find out which diet works for you stick to it!
4.  Establish an attitude of non-judgment:
     No one in this world is perfect.  From the prison convict to the President of the United States, everyone has made a mistake, including you.  If you go about your day passing judgment on other people that is a reflection of insecurities within yourself.  A little bit of empathy can go a very long way and can mean the difference between making friends and creating enemies.  Positivity begets positivity.  Make sure that your thoughts and actions all remain on the positive end of the spectrum of your moral compass.  This will allow you to unquestionably hold your head up and be invulnerable to those feelings of insecurity.
5.  Create a list of morals and principles that you believe in and live by them:
    We all have a basic understanding of what is right and what is wrong.  A moral is defined as a person’s standards of behavior or belief’s concerning what is and what is not acceptable for them to do.  Before you make the decision to do or say something to someone else or to yourself be sure to think of the consequences of that action.  Will the effects of that decision be positive or negative?  Will this decision better my life or someone else’s?  Will this decision bring me closer to being the person I wish to become?  These are some great questions to ask yourself prior to saying or doing something.  A principle is defined as a fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.  What principles do you live by?  Is there a set of beliefs that you feel keep you on the path to becoming your greatest-self?  It is very important that you build a set of rules and beliefs that will keep you in a state of harmony and shield you from those that mean to knock you off course.
6. Practice self-discipline and integrity:
     Once you have established the first five steps, you have to work to maintain that lifestyle.  Greatness is not achieved in a day, a week, a month or even a year.  Greatness is achieved by living a lifestyle that consists of positive and productive actions done on a consistent basis.  Having people along the way to encourage you is great but if you do not push yourself to maintain this type of lifestyle you are setting yourself up for failure.  Any goal or dream without the faith and the drive to back it up is like a bird without wings.  Give yourself a chance to succeed by establishing a system for success.  If you don’t want to create one, there are plenty out there to get you started.  A few books that can get you started are Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Napoleon Hills Keys To Success, and The Seven Decisions by Andy Andrews just to name a few.  Once you have created your system you must hold yourself accountable for sticking to it.  Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. Integrity is what brings it all together.  Living a life where you are honest with yourself and those you interact with, and following the principles you established in the previous step, will strengthen your belief in your ability to accomplish any goal you set for yourself.
Living your life with integrity, following your own set of morals and principles, and doing what you know in your heart needs to be done to become the ultimate version of yourself will make you invulnerable to feelings of insecurity.  You are your greatest ally and the only person whose opinion should matter to you.  Be sure to speak to yourself with respect and encouragement and expect great things to come in your future.  It’s never too late to begin your walk down the path to becoming your ultimate-self.  Make the decision today to pursue a path of optimism and success because you are not only capable of it, you deserve it as well.  I’ll end with the wise words of Zig Ziglar the great motivational speaker “you don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.

TRWSpeaks Motivational Speaking

All my life I have felt that I was put on this earth to do something great.  Throughout my life I have encountered several hardships including being made fun of and bullied as a kid, the loss of several loved ones, as well as years of depression.  Dealing with and overcoming those different scenarios taught me the importance of believing in and loving yourself, to surround yourself with positive people, and that time heals all wounds.  When I think about it, my life reminds me a lot of the movie Slumdog Millionaire.  It has consisted of several very unfortunate events and circumstances but in the end they have made me into a very loving and empathetic person who enjoys nothing more then helping people deal overcome the roadblocks in life and improve themselves, which is why I made the decision to pursuit a career in motivational speaking.
In January of 2010 I made one of the greatest decisions of my life and joined the United States Navy.  I can honestly say that I would not be the man I am today if I had not joined the service.  It has taught me the importance of working together as a team to accomplish a common goal, that true leadership is not about giving orders but guiding by example, and that true satisfaction comes in the service of others.  When I say serving others I don’t mean doing what other people tell you, I mean helping your fellow man and woman because it is the right thing to do.
In June of 2014 I was given two blessings.  I was promoted to First Class Petty Officer and my son was brought into this world.  Holding my son in my arms for the first time made me realize that it wasn’t just about me anymore.  I had to make sure that my son knew that there was nothing in this world that he could not do and that if he had a dream he should go for it.
On January first of 2015 I began a quest to find my purpose.  The answer came in the form of a Youtube video.  I was looking for inspiration and found it in a man known as Les Brown a world renowned motivational speaker.  After listening to him speak, I felt like doors in my brain that had been shut my whole life had suddenly been opened.  I remember thinking to myself, “that is what I was put on the earth to do”.  I was born with very few passions; writing, public speaking, and giving counsel.  Luckily for me there is a profession the utilizes all of those skills, Motivational Speaking.  Once I made the decision to pursuit that career path I knew that I needed to enhance every aspect of my life and if I wanted to be successful I needed stop thinking about it and start taking action.
Over the past several months I have created a system that has allowed me to take my dreams and turn them into reality.  I am currently in the best shape of my life, my mind is sharper and more alert then ever, and I have an indescribable sense of inner peace.  The inner peace that comes only when you are living your life by your own set of morals and principles and you are consistently pursuing self-improvement and the achievement of your goals and dreams.  I did not attend a university and the information I talk about is not from a text book.  They are the words of a man who was faced with everything that was meant to keep him down who instead decided to choose a more optimistic path which helped him enhance every aspect of his life.  I’ve decided to spend the rest of my life helping people eliminate the negative facets of theirs lives and begin to live the lives of greatness that we are all capable of.
Make the decision today to join me on the path to becoming your “Ultimate Self”!!!!
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My Summer Oasis

Friendship, courage, adventure, leadership.  These are just a few of the things I learned and experienced when I entered the magical world of summer camp.  If you’re like me and you were blessed with the opportunity to attend summer camp, then you understand how it can be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have as a kid.  My usual camp experience always started out with being assigned a counselor and meeting my fellow campers.  The first time I had to do this was definitely the most difficult seeing as I was attached to my older brother’s hip and had to watch him go off with his own group.  Fortunately for me, I would soon find out that summer, that you don’t have to share the same blood or complexion in order to be brothers.  One of the activities they used in order to bring us closer was called the low ropes course.  It seemed very simple; it consisted of a rope that was tied around four trees.  The objective was to get the whole group onto the rope at the same time.  So we began arguing about who would stand near the tree, complaining about how stupid we thought the activity was, and getting frustrated with our failure.   The counselors finally broke their silence and told us that only by working together as a team could we accomplish this task.  So we all decided to drop our egos and give this teamwork thing a shot and just as they said we achieved our goal and grew closer in the process.  Next it was on to the high ropes course.  The high ropes course as the name suggest is a course consisting of a series of ropes, cables, and ladders.  This time I wouldn’t have my team there with me at least not in the physical sense.  You start off climbing up a ladder made of planks like the one you see for tree houses.  Until you reach the starting point which was about 50 feet in the air.  So there I was, my life flashing before my eyes.  After a few minutes passed my buddy’s began to cheer for me, “you got it Tim”, “you can do it man”, but there cheers were falling on deaf ears.  Then the darndest thing happened, a group of female campers showed up to do the course and my fears just magically disappeared.  I ran through that course like a seasoned veteran.  The final team building exercise was the trust fall.  To paint the picture for you we had to fall backwards off of what seemed like a 10 foot high platform that was probably more like 6 feet, hoping that your fellow campers wouldn’t drop you.  While I was standing up there I remember all the negative thoughts going through my head.  How the kids at school use to make fun of me, how I felt that I never really belonged anywhere, and how lonely I always felt back home.  Then the sound of my buddies encouraging me pushed out all those thoughts and made me feel as though being me was ok.  I remember thinking that there may be some bad people out there but there are good ones also and I decided to take that leap of faith towards friendship.  The following year when I returned to camp all of my previous anxieties were gone and I was glad to once again see all my friends.  The only change this time was that my counselors from the previous year were with another group so I got stuck with some new guys.  I was not happy at all about that.  I gave these guys a very hard time because I was still loyal to my first counselors, but that was all about to change.  It was day three and we were heading to the lake for a little canoeing, and because I couldn’t swim I had to have a counselor with me.  Everything was going fine until we tried to make a sharp turn around a corner and somehow our canoe flipped over.  I was freaking out because I was an frequent watcher of the discovery channel and I knew alligators lived in lakes.  Luckily, there were no alligators in this lake.lol  This camp counselor that I had been giving such a hard time to saved my life and became my hero in the process.  He was the true definition of courage and taught me to keep an open mind and give everyone a chance.  The next camp “adventure” (you see what I’m doing here) involved one of my favorite camp activities, horseback riding.  The camp paid for us to be sent to Tuscan Arizona to learn all about horseback riding.  I may not have been good at a lot of things but I was a natural at riding horses.  In addition to riding horses we also spent the night out in the desert where you could see every star as clear as day.  I learned a lot about astronomy and about how to survive out the desert.  We also learned how to use a horse to get cattle into their pins.  It was one of the funnest experiences of my life.  The last camp experience I would like to share is my favorite.  I was 15 years old and by this time a camp veteran.  Summer camp had helped me develop my social skills so I now had lots of friends back home and I was not as excited as usual to leave them behind, but I made the decision to go anyway.  Once there I fell into the usual routine of doing activities, only this time I possessed something new, “experience”.  When we got to the low ropes course and I saw things going how they did when I was a kid.  I stopped everyone and said “no let’s slow down, take our time, and work together as a team” and with that we accomplished our goal.  When it came to doing the high ropes and trust fall I tried to be the loudest person cheering on my buddies.  I also made it a mission to help some of the younger kids learn how to swim.  At the end of every summer camp one male and one female camper who exemplifies what it means to be a true camper by displaying kindness, enthusiasm, and of course “leadership” receives the coveted Apollo award.  The Apollo award is a small polished paddle with the camp logo on it, you also get your name engraved on the “BIG” camp paddle.  You’ll never guess who got it that year, ME!!!  It was the first time in my life that I felt that I was special.  Summer camp like all things in life is what you make it.  It played a major part in developing me into the man I am today.  By going to summer camp I learned to welcome friendship, display courage, go on adventures, and to not be afraid to lead.  The biggest thing that it taught me was that you’ll never know all the things that life has to offer unless you get out there and live it.  I’ll leave you all with a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “the purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.

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The Blindness of Kindness

It was Mark Twain who said “Kindness is the language which the blind can see and the deaf can hear”.  After experiencing the story I am about to tell you I can definitely attest to that statement.  It was Winter of 2012.  I had just finished spending two weeks at home in the states with my family and was returning to my naval base in Japan.  After 15 hours of flying I was finally back in Japan and making my way to the Hakata Train station in Fukuoka via Subway.  As I got off the subway I wanted to do two things, eat and take a shower.  I’m not a big fan of showering in subways so my priority was to find some food but first I needed Japanese currency.  I made my way to through the train station which is humongous, desperately looking for an ATM, and after several minutes I began to give up hope.  After about a half hour of looking I came across three young Japanese men (early 20’s) at a McDonalds.  I walked up to them and began to use the universal language of charades to see if they could help me find an ATM.  After a few minutes and several silly gestures later one of the young Japanese men pulled out nearly 10,000 Yen which at the time was the equivalent of about $115.00.  At that moment I think I did a quick mental assessment and realized that I had just got done flying for about 15 hours, I more then likely smell, I’m wearing faded sweats and a sweater (my comfy clothes for international flights), and I’ve got a bit of a beard going.  I thought to myself I think they thing I’m homeless and asking for money.  I immediately begin to make gestures to them signaling no and thank you and I realized that I had my debit card.  I quickly pulled it out and began to do the ATM swipe and they finally realized what I  had been trying to say.  They began to make gestures that I’m sure meant closed, so I thanked them and walked back to the center of the train station.  As I was walking away I began to hear someone running up behind me.  When I turned around the same Japanese young man that attempted to give me the money was now trying to give me a huge bag filled with McDonalds.  Even though I was starving and a big fan of random acts of kindness.  I’ve never been really big on accepting charity from others so I began to refuse, but when I saw how insistent he was on helping me I decided to accept his charity and began thanking him, which lasted about five minutes and I’m sure embarrassed him.  I was so moved by the experienced that I almost wanted to go and find someone to give some of the food away to but unfortunately my stomach took over my judging abilities.  I later found out that it is actually rude to refuse a gift from someone in Japan so I’m glad that eventually did accept.  I’ve experienced random acts of kindness before but this particular one meant a little more being that I was a foreigner in that country and to receive that level of kindness from a complete stranger, especially one so young.  When I find myself doubting the love of humanity or when I feel frustrating with people due to the cruel acts we are constantly doing to one another.  I think back to stories like this one and remember that there are amazingly kind people in this world and that we should always maintain the optimistic perspective that this world is a beautiful place worth having faith in.  I also learned that that it is okay to accept other peoples charity from time to time when in need.  Seeing as I also enjoy doing random acts of kindess, I realized that it is quite hypocritical to refuse that same joy to others.  Charity is something that should definitely never be exploited but it is also not something you should feel guilty for excepting, especially if you do your part as well.  So I hope the next time you are faced with the opportunity to show or receive kindness, you will make the decision that continues the cycle of positivity this world desperately needs.

The four steps To overcoming bullying

                                       THE FOUR STEPS TO OVERCOMING BULLYING

There is a present day epidemic plaguing the lives of the youth of this world.  Bullying causes children to experience depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, loss of interest in activities they use to enjoy, and overall it ruins the time of there life which they should experience the greatest amount joy and freedom.  I have created this list steps that will help you or anyone else you know in the fight to overcome this terrible problem.

STEP 1:  BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

create your armor by living up to your own standards and being the best version of yourself that you can be. Bullies like animals respond to fear. by establishing confidence in your self the bully will be unable to make you believe that you are something that you are not. Never allow anyone to make you feel bad for being who you are. Being like everyone else is boring. The people who standout the most are those who follow there own path. That’s how new trends are started. Create a list of principles to live by such as treating others the way you want to be treated, never putting yourself down, and never quitting once you establish a goal just to name a few. It is also important that you keep a clear list of goals you want to accomplish. Some can be to have good grades, eat healthy, exercise regularly, read books, maintain good relationships with your friends and family, and finally to accept nothing short of greatness and happiness for yourself

STEP 2:  CREATE POSITIVE ASSOCIATIONS

Surround yourself with like minded and kind people. A group of kind individuals standing together will make any bully think twice. And in my experience most big guys like myself are what are called gentle giants. I made it a point to make sure that I was friends with every big guy in the school. Just a suggestion:). there is a famous saying that says show me your friends and i will show you your future. There were some people that I would allow into my life that would make fun of me and would treat me disrespectfully. At the time I was just happy to have people that wanted to be around me but that was the wrong way to think. I have always been a very nice and respectful person and I am here to tell you that just because you don’t have the newest clothes & games, or are not up on the newest trends, or if like me your family doesn’t have a lot of money that doesn’t mean that you are not a great person who is underserving of respect and kindness. This period of your lives is filled with a lot of confusion and you are still trying to figure out what kind of people you want to be and what you want to do with your lives but there is something that will never change in life. Positivity begets positivity. If you are kind and respectful and your heart is receptive to the love this world has to offer then you will attract the right people and the right opportunities into your life

STEP 3:  DON’T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF

When I grew up I was always told the importance of not snitching. But I was also told that this was for people who you respect.  Like your family or your friends.  Now when it comes to any person who obviously has no respect for you and doesn’t care about your well being they do not deserve that respect and you should not feel bad about telling someone what has happened.  I’m sure that if you don’t want to let them know that it was you that said something the teachers, faculty members, family, or friends would be happy to not mention you. It’s very important that you are able to go through your days without the thought of being harassed. These are some of the most important years of your lives. You should be able to go through your days having fun and handling your business.  If you are worried about bully’s you won’t be able to concentrate on your work, have fun, and enjoy the experience of being young and free. Please, if you are unable to handle the situation on your own let someone know.  You don’t deserve to go through your days in fear and insecurity.

STEP 4:  SHOW RESPECT TO OTHERS AS WELL AS YOURSELF

negativity begets negativity. Reacting to a bully with violence will only create more violence. Find a constructive way to eliminate the situation. Treat everyone you meet with respect. If you begin to act like a bully yourself then the bully would have won. Do your part to put an end to bullying by using your words and actions to uplift and make people feel better about themselves. Also keep in mind that the person who is bullying you may be getting that same type of bullying somewhere else and chose a different path. By you responding to the bullying in a calm and positive way you may be able to not only end the bullying for you but you may even gain a friend in the process. Nothing is more important then kindness and respect. And that respect can’t just go for others it must be for yourself as well. Each and every one of us are human beings and no amount of money, possessions, or popularity is going to change that. We must begin to cultivate the mindset that we are all in this together. You cannot just think it, you must know deep in your mind and heart that you are deserving of kindness and respect. And if you don’t believe that then you must figure out why? If you are treating other the way that you want to be treated then it should not be an issue. Make this world a better place by doing what the great Gandhi once said “be the change you wish to see in this world”.

It is my great hope that these steps are able to help end the power bully has had over the undeserving children and sometimes adults of this world.  If there are any comments or you things you feel can be added please let me know.

STAGE ONE ON THE ROAD TO WELLNESS: The Breakdown part 3 of 3 Forgiveness

Each and every regret, grudge, and negative feeling we hold in our hearts is a link in the chains that hold us down and keep us from becoming our ultimate selves.  We now know and have acknowledged many of the problem areas of our lives that have held us back.  Now we are going to develop the final one two punch that will allow you to eliminate the power those forces once had over you.  That power is the power of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is defined as the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offence, let’s go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.  Now let’s dissect that  definition.  It uses the words intentional and voluntary, which says to me that in order to truly receive the benefits of forgiveness, it can’t be just words alone.  You need to know exactly the who, what, when, why, and how of each incident.  You also should not only be showing forgiveness because someone is telling you to.  You should be practicing forgiveness because you want to free yourself from the debilitating affects of living a life without it.  The next part of the definition says “let go of negative emotions”.  Sometimes we’ve lived with our negative feelings and ways for so long that it feels as though they have become a permanent part of who we are.  It is up to you to determine the parts of your life that could use a change.  It is my belief that anything in your life that causes harm to your mind, body, or spirit is a negative that needs do be expelled from it.  Holding negative feelings in your heart is a lot like holding a bunch of unnecessary weights.  If you walked up to someone who was carrying weights that they didn’t want to, what would you tell them to do.  Let go.  We need to let go of all of our unnecessary baggage and live like the free beings we were meant to be.  Finally we need to wish the offender well.  This is often the most difficult part to implement seeing as a majority of us have a tendency to focus on the negative.  What benefits come to you from holding grudges? Absolutely none.  They lead to feelings of anger and sadness that only increase your misery and fuels your fear and doubt.  We need to make the DECISION to eliminate these feelings from our lives for good.  Lets start now

We will do this by once again addressing the three questions.  This time we will see how applying forgiveness can not only eliminate those problem areas but also give us the strength to make ourselves better and give us the inspiration to seek different ways to improve our lives.

QUESTION #1
If I was the perfect version of myself, what actions or behaviors would I be doing now that I am presently not?

In the previous discussion we talked about acknowledging the feelings you felt about the fact that you haven’t taken action sooner to begin improving your life.  We need to understand that no one in this world was born perfect.  We were put on this earth to discover it’s beauty and eventually if we have the insight to achieve greatness. Many people won’t even take the time to answer such a question, so the fact that you did is worth acknowledging.  Unfortunately recognizing is not enough.  You need to make the decision to take immediate action to begin to put these actions and behaviors into practice.  Every day there is a chance to start over.  Don’t get lost in the trap of living in the past.  Focus on the accomplishments you can make today.  We were all destined for greatness and by accepting that as a human you were meant to make mistakes you will find inner peace and by acknowledging the fact that you are capable of more then you have been producing you will be able to move forward toward a better tomorrow.

QUESTION #2

If I wanted to become the perfect version of myself, what actions and behaviors would I need to eliminate from my life?

There is definitely one thing that every single person on the face of this great planet of ours has in common and that is that we have all made mistakes.  Our lives are a giant tapestry of mistakes.  Some we’ve allowed to alter our lives for the better and some for worse.  We have already identified the negative actions and behaviors we are trying to eliminate from our lives.  In order to do so we must come to the understanding that we are imperfect human beings.  Most definitely capable of making mistakes but also capable of overcoming them.  You must understand that you are completely in control of your life.  You have the POWER to change absolutely every facet of your life.  By truly understanding that power you can eliminate every single action and behavior on your list.  You must also make sure that you know in your heart that you want what is best for you and that you want to better your life.  Now that may sound silly to you.  You may say to yourself “of course I want what’s best for me” even though we say that, our actions are to the contrary.  We need to make sure that when we make that statement that it is not only a collection of words but a firm belief immediately followed by actions that live up to those words.  Make sure that you are being your own ally and not an enemy taking you further and further away from achieving your goals and attaining wellness.

QUESTION #3

What negative experiences have occurred in your life that still hold negativity in your heart?

It is a very sad fact that nearly everyone in this world at one point in time or another has either experienced or caused pain to another individual.  As we have been discussing, no one in this world is perfect.  We are all trying to make sense of the circustances of our lives.  When we experience pain caused by someone else our minds are quick to find justification for it and only work with what we know and see.  Most of the time in my experience there is always some form of misunderstanding or justification for those peoples actions.  In order to truly find peace after experiencing such an incident you must implement the key to forgiveness and that is empathy.  When we step outside of our own shoes and away from our sometimes narrow minded perspective we will find that there is truly no need to harbor ill feelings.  When it comes to someone who has hurt you, make sure that you are taking into account everything about that person and the situation as a whole.  Perhaps they had a bad childhood, grew up in an environment that glorified violence, was somehow offended by something you said or did that you may not have been aware of.  There are countless possible justifications people may have for there actions.  Seeing there actions from a pessimistic perspective will only lead you down an equally negative path which will result in either negative feelings or actions.  Negativity begets negativity therefore you must must apply positivity and completely eliminate pride from the picture.  Pride especially in males has a tendency to cause us to act irrationally.  Choose the alternate path and try your best to instead look at the individual with remorse.  A person who feels that they must creat violence or bring negativity into someone else’s life is obviously dealing with there own demons inside and feels they have no choice but to mirror those feelings and project them outward on others.  As the late Dr. Wayne Dyer use to say “when you squeeze an orange nothing but orange juice will come out because that is what is on the inside, if someone squeezes you (puts pressure on you) if you get angry it is because you have anger on the inside”.  You will find inner peace by displaying empathy for those who have caused you harm.  If they are not addressing there problems and behavioral issues there subconscious mind is still holding them accountable.  That is until they learn the importance of forgiveness.  Perhaps from you.  Now when it comes to harm that you have done to others it is very similar to the previous example.  You must learn to forgive yourself by figuring our why it was that you felt that you needed to perform that action.  Perhaps it had been done to you before, you were having a bad day, or maybe a mind altering substance was to blame.  This should not be an excuse to justify doing negative actions to people.  The purpose of this is for you to obtain inner peace and deal with the core issues within yourself that cause you to hurt others.  Human beings by nature are not bad people.  A majority of them are victims of circumstances.  If you can display the patience and conviction to look deep within yourself and find what it is that is making you harbor these negative feelings and work diligently and daily to overcome it.  You will be one step closer to obtaining an inner peace and wellness that will allow you to accomplish anything this world and your imagination have to offer.

Ensure that you take all the steps of stage one and apply them to each negative area of your life.  There is limited time in this world and it should not be spent harbor ins negative feelings and conducting negative actions.  As Gandhi once said “be the change you wish to see in this world”.  Make sure that your actions and behaviors are in conjunction with the morals that you hold deep within your heart.  You are deserving of happiness and wellness and I hope that these three steps will help along your path to obtaining them.

STAGE ONE ON THE ROAD TO WELLNESS: The Breakdown Part 2 of 3 Acknowledgement

STAGE ONE ON THE ROAD TO WELLNESS: Breaking yourself down so that you can learn to pick yourself back up.  Part 2 Acknowledgement

On the road to wellness you’re going to hit a speed bump or two.  In the previous section we identified several of the negative areas of our lives.  Now we will take our answers from the three questions and truly acknowledge and embrace their effects on us.  The end result of this section should be for you, a much more open-minded and empathetic perspective of all of these answers and a greater sense of hope and faith that you will conquer there control over your life.

What would I be doing that I’m presently not doing if I was the perfect version of myself? At the start of my transformation when I asked myself that question I thought of things like:

  • Developing a exercise routine
  • Finding a diet and sticking to it
  • Begin reading books on self development

I’m going to safely assume that you’ve known that you should have began these changes before today.  When you asked yourself this question, did you feel a little ping in your gut, maybe a small feeling of guilt for not already taking action. If so that is a good thing.  It means that you are having a healthy emotional response and you really want to make that change. If not that is okay, just make sure that you DONT allow these positive changes to be seen in your mind as a OPTION but instead as a NECESSITY for you to grow into the great person you know you can be.

If I where the perfect version of myself, what actions and behaviors would I have to eliminate from my life?

No one in this world is born perfect and fortunately for most of us we are taught the difference between right and wrong and possess a built in guide known as a conscience.  Common actions and behaviors most people want to rid themselves of include:

Most people in this world possess what is know as a moral compass.  We may feel that our day to day actions go by unchecked but our unbiased subconscious mind is keeping track of everything.  Consistent actions that go against your core beliefs of what is right and wrong will inevitably result in feelings of anger, frustration, and sadness.  It will also make you more susceptible to fear and doubt.  When you ask yourself this question ensure that you trust your bodies response and no matter what false justification you’ve tried to give yourself, make the decision to acknowledge its negative effects on your life.

The final question is without a doubt the bread and butter of this discussion.  It is most important with this question that you drop all of your pride, all of the emotional walls you have built, and eliminate the power these experiences have had over you.

What negative experiences have occurred in your life that hold negativity in your heart?

In this blog I will be honest and give you nothing but information that I feel will benefit your life.  I dealt with a traumatic experience when I was younger that affected my life for nearly 10 years until I began my journey.

On December 3rd of 2005 I was walking into my kitchen to grab something to eat when I noticed that my mother and grandfather where in my sisters room.  I walked into her room to see what was going on.  I remember that day so clearly.  The sun was shining on her face from the window and she had this blank stare that seemed as though she was staring right through you.  The day before she had asked my mother if she could stay home from school because she wasn’t feeling well.  Of course my mother said that was okay.  But when that night came and she asked my mother if she could go to the roller skating rink with her friends since her birthday was coming up and my mother told her no.  She told her If she was too sick to go to school then she was too sick to go to the roller skating rink with her friends.  After hearing that my sister angrily went straight to bed.  Now there she was lying there with this blank stare.  I immediately walked up to her and yelled “STOP PRETENDING, YOU ARE MAKING MOM WORRIED”!  After that I walked out of the room and took a quick nap before I had to go to work.  Unfortunately for me I overslept and I had to rush out of my house and I didn’t have time to say goodbye to anyway.  While I was at work I got a call from my brother.  He told me that my sister needed to be rushed to the hospital and was now in a medically induced coma.  She was asleep for her 17th birthday and passed away passed away a day later.  In addition to the traumatic experience of losing my sister I also had to live with the fact that my last words to her where “stop pretending, you’re making mom worried”.  Not can I get you anything?  Is there anything I can do, I hope you feel better, or most importantly I love you.  How does one get past such a thing.  As human being we find it very easy to focus on the negatives things in our lives.  It took me nine years to finally see and acknowledge the positive aspects of my relationship with my sisters.  The times that I was a supportive big brother, the times that we use to play together, and the times that I protected, loved, and cared for her.  My sister was an amazing person that would always make you soup if you were sick, whose radiant and loving personality always made people want to be in her presence, the kind of person who would be devastated to know that her brother was filled with anything but love when it came to thoughts of her.  So once I was able to acknowledge that situation, I was able to positively move on and ultimately become a better and stronger person from it.  A person who would no longer allow himself to see the negative aspects of his circumstances but instead open his heart to all the love and blessings that life bestowes upon us each day.  That is to truly acknowledge.  The question you must ask yourself is, how can I turn my negative experiences into one of my strengths?  The negative experiences we’re addressing in this section involve someone taking negative actions toward you and you taking negative actions towards others.  They are both experiences that can lead to regression if not addressed and properly analyzed.  You need to not only look at these experiences from your own eyes but from the others involved as well.  Once you have gathered that information you will be able to implement the final section of stage one, forgiveness.

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